


The Reason

by Ithiel_Dragon



Series: Reasons [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Massage, Sleepy Cuddles, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:42:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithiel_Dragon/pseuds/Ithiel_Dragon
Summary: It's been a long hard few days and Keith just wants to help Shiro feel better. Though his own feelings for the other man make it a little more difficult than he thought.(Rewritten and Betaed)





	The Reason

**Author's Note:**

> Now betaed! Big thanks to the lovely NO NAME MANGA for all the help :)

Most of the time, Shiro was fine.

A lot of that probably had to do with the fact that Shiro seemed to remember very little of his time in captivity - a fact Keith thought was a blessing on most days.  While the nightmares and occasional flashbacks that Shiro suffered from were not exactly pleasant, Keith was well aware it could have been so much worse.  

Shiro smiled often and laughed with the younger paladins during their rare moments of downtime. He wasn't afraid to join in with their 'immature' play and wasn't afraid to act silly. Sometimes, Shiro could be the biggest goofball in the room, completely obliterating his tough, serious, leader image in seconds. Even though Keith might roll his eyes outwardly, he secretly treasured those moments, immeasurably glad that whatever the Galra had done to Shiro hadn't broken him completely. He was grateful that most of the time Shiro was fine.

But sometimes... Shiro wasn't fine. Sometimes, the trials that Shiro had endured took their toll, not only mentally but physically.  He hid it well and Keith was sure that the other Paladins didn't even notice when Shiro had bad days.  But none of them knew Shiro as well as Keith did.

The last few days had been difficult on all of them. They had received no less than five distress calls in as many days from planets under attack by Galra forces. They had spent almost that entire time in their lions, fighting against the seemingly never-ending forces of Zarkon's fleet. When one battle ended, they'd had to wormhole almost immediately onto the next one, leaving little time for rest. Exhaustion barely covered their state when the lions finally found their way back to their hangars. Even Allura had foregone the normal hospitality and celebration offered by the grateful natives they'd helped free from Zarkon. After saying their goodbyes, she had created one last wormhole to take them to a (hopefully) peaceful part of space so they could all get some much needed rest.

Keith watched as Hunk carried an already dozing Pidge on his back while Lance shuffled behind them, yawning every two seconds on their way to their quarters. Keith hung back to wait for Shiro, as he usually did. He had begun to worry about how long Shiro was taking to emerge from the Black Lion's hangar when Keith finally saw him step out. Shiro looked more drained than Keith ever remembered seeing him; his posture was slouched, and dark circles were prominent under his eyes, but he  still managed to offer Keith a faint smile when he finally noticed him.

"Are you okay?" Keith asked as Shiro fell into step beside him.

"I'm fine. Just tired," Shiro reassured him, and while he certainly sounded exhausted, Keith knew it was more than that. Normally Shiro moved with the grace of a man completely comfortable in his body - someone confident, who knew exactly what he was capable of. A trait Keith very much envied. But now Shiro moved... carefully. He moved like someone trying too hard to appear as normal as possible.

Keith found himself instinctively shifting closer to the other man as they walked, close enough that their shoulders brushed. Shiro responded by leaning into him a little. The gesture was comforting until Keith realized just how much Shiro was leaning on him. Shiro didn’t seem to realize just how much weight he was putting on the small man until Keith staggered away; it might have been funny if Shiro hadn’t lost his balance for a moment and stumbled after him. Just as Shiro steadied himself, Keith wrapped an arm around Shiro's waist for support and immediately felt just how stiff Shiro truly was, how tightly knotted Shiro's muscles were. Shiro looked at him and opened his mouth but Keith cut him off before he could speak.

"If you say you're fine one more time I'm going to hit you," Keith said, his eyebrows narrowing threateningly. Shiro snorted softly in amusement.

"It's not that bad," Shiro amended, and it was Keith's turn to snort.

The two of them stopped off at the ‘locker room’ or at least that was what the team had dubbed it.  The room served pretty much the same purpose; a place they could change, and the Paladin armor could be cleaned and stored until its next use.  After spending five days in the armor, it could definitely use some freshening up. The other Paladins had already gone so he and Shiro had the room to themselves.  

Keith stripped quickly and efficiently.  Getting the armor on and off had been a bit of a chore at the beginning, but now it was practically second nature.  Keith glanced sporadically at Shiro while the older man undressed, still concerned despite Shiro’s reassurances. Shiro moved carefully as he stripped off the various pieces of armor, visibly distorting his back to get the shoulder plates off.  He winced as he tried to move his right shoulder, drawing Keith’s attention.

"You're not fine.  Your shoulder is bothering you," Keith pointed out. It was not a question. Shiro sighed heavily and avoided his gaze as he set aside his chest piece.  

"Really, Keith, it's not a big deal. Nothing a bit of rest won't fix," Shiro said, and Keith rolled his eyes. Shiro would probably be saying the same thing if his arm was literally falling off.

Once they were down to their black body suits, Keith moved to take a shower but paused. He knew Shiro would probably leave, finish changing in his own room instead, but this time he was hurt. Keith turned to look at Shiro, who was tiredly making his way to the hall. His concern for the other man won out and Keith went over beside him, wrapping his arm back around Shiro’s waist to lightly support him. Shiro raised an eyebrow at this but he didn’t comment on it.

"You know, there's no reason to play Mr. Tough Guy right now. There's no one here to impress," Keith said in response. Shiro laughed softly.

"I think you're selling yourself short," he said, but didn't pull away. Keith rolled his eyes again.

"You don't need to impress me. I already know you're amazing," Keith found himself saying, and realized he might be more tired than he thought if he was saying something like that aloud. A quick glance at Shiro revealed the older man's face reddening a bit at the compliment, making the scar across his nose flush and stand out even more. Shiro's mouth opened and closed a couple times, like he couldn't think of anything to say and Keith couldn't help but find it endearing. It wasn't often he could leave Shiro speechless.

By the time they reached Shiro's quarters, Keith had come to a decision. Before Shiro could bid him farewell at the doorway, Keith placed his palm on the door sensor and preceded a somewhat bewildered Shiro inside.

"Keith?"

He turned to face the other man as the door slid shut behind him.

"Take that off and lay down," Keith ordered. Shiro simply stared at him, looking as though his brain had just short-circuited.

"What?" the older man finally managed in an almost squeak and Keith had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out in laughter. It wasn't often that Keith could get the better of Shiro like this and it was endearing to see the normally calm and collected young man flustered like this.

"Do you need help?" Keith asked with forced innocence, and took a step closer to Shiro. The other man responded by holding up his hands, as though to ward Keith off, and took a step back. His eyes held an almost panicked look in them, making Keith pause in his endeavour. He had only been teasing, but Shiro looked almost… afraid.

"Shiro?" Keith queried, soft and gentle. He held up his own hands in a non-threatening manner. Shiro blinked slowly and then shook his head as though he were coming out of a daze. Keith risked a small step closer to the other man, relieved when Shiro did not retreat, though his expression remained a little wary.

"Keith… I don't think this is…" Shiro stuttered a little and trailed off, like he was unsure what he was saying, or what he should be saying. Keith risked another slow step forward and allowed his gloved hands to come to a rest lightly on Shiro's biceps. Shiro stayed where he was, practically frozen in place. Keith could see him swallow hard but he did not speak.

"It's okay," Keith said softly, his fingers running lightly down Shiro's arms. Somehow, he seemed even more tense now than he was before, "I'm not going to hurt you, Shiro."

Shiro blinked again and nodded shakily.

"I know," the older man whispered, and then repeated the words a little more strongly, "I know. But… maybe you should…"

"I only want… to rub your shoulders and back. I thought it would make you feel better, so you could sleep," Keith interrupted him, explaining himself because it seemed that Shiro had gotten the wrong idea. The last thing he wanted was for Shiro to throw him out. Though he probably wouldn't _literally_ throw him out. He’d do it politely. Shiro was nothing if not polite.

"Oh…" Shiro said softly. He sounded surprised, as if the thought had never occurred to him. Had Shiro thought he wanted _more_ than that? The idea made Keith's stomach clench a little. Not because Keith had never thought about it before. In fact, being with Shiro… like that… had been a long held secret fantasy of his. But for Shiro to have such a strong reaction to the idea of being intimate with him… he was Shiro's friend first and he never wanted to do anything to ruin that. The last thing he wanted to do was make Shiro uncomfortable and for a moment he seemed almost afraid. It made Keith feel cold, sick, and tremendously guilty for making Shiro feel that way, even if it was unintentional.

"I can go if you want me to," Keith offered, drawing his hands back. He wasn't expecting Shiro to suddenly catch his hands in a firm grip.

"No, wait, I…" Shiro stammered a little, then laughed low under his breath, "You just surprised me a little… a lot."

Shiro offered him a small smile, visibly relaxing, and Keith let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as Shiro slowly came out of whatever panicked mode he'd been in. He watched as Shiro's fingers twined with his own and Keith returned Shiro's smile with a gentle squeeze. Shiro seemed to consider their clasped hands for a long moment before he finally raised his head to meet Keith's eyes once more.

"That would be…" Shiro's tongue darted out to wet his lips and Keith felt a blush crawl up his neck when his eyes instinctively followed the quick movement, "That would be… nice."

Keith felt his heart tumble a bit in his chest and it was his turn to swallow hard.

"Okay…" he whispered, though neither of them moved for several long moments. Finally even Keith, the king of clueless, began to realize how awkward the moment was becoming and he blinked. He looked up from their joined fingers to find Shiro smiling at him again, his eyes twinkling. Actually it looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. Keith frowned a bit, more at himself than Shiro. But his irritation made him feel bold again and Keith finally untangled their fingers to allow his hands to come to rest near the fasteners of the bodysuit. Only to falter again the second he felt the heat radiating off the other man. This might be harder than he thought. His only consolation was that the heart beating under his palm seemed to be just as fast as his own.

"Can I…" he asked. Shiro nodded and dropped his hands to his side.

Keith fumbled embarrassingly at clasps. The bodysuit was already very tight, left practically nothing to the imagination, and Shiro was… very well built. Sure, Shiro had been fit even before he left Earth but now? If there was an inch of fat on him Keith would be very surprised and he didn't know it was possible to have that many abs.  Keith had a feeling Shiro could lift him easily with just one arm.

Finally getting the clasps undone, the black material parted, revealing the first flash of Shiro’s pale toned skin, and Keith’s mouth went dry.  But as Shiro helped him peel the bodysuit down to his waist, everything changed.  Shiro's skin was a horrible map of crisscrossing scars, one layer over another. There were too many to count and Keith couldn't help but stare at them in a mixture of horror and building anger realizing that Shiro must have gotten them during his captivity. Keith simultaneously wanted to kiss every single one as though that could somehow soothe and erase them and take the red lion back out to destroy every Galra bastard who had dared to hurt Shiro.

His rage and sorrow was only compounded when he finally managed to tear his gaze away from the scarred flesh to see the nervousness in Shiro’s eyes. The older man's mouth was set in a firm line, and his body was tense again, as though preparing himself for a physical blow.  When Shiro’s eyes finally darted away in shame, Keith's heart broke.

"Shiro…" Keith whispered, lifting his hands to frame the older man’s face, urging Shiro’s gaze back to him. He wanted to hug Shiro. He wanted to lean up to kiss him. He wanted to say something to erase that look in Shiro's eyes and make sure it never came back. But their relationship wasn’t like that, as much as Keith might want it to be, and he had never been very good with words. But maybe he could still take care of Shiro in another way.

"Would you be more comfortable sitting or lying down?"

Shiro blinked, looking surprised. Maybe he had thought Keith would say something else, maybe ask about the scars, or something. But if Shiro didn't want to talk about them, then Keith wasn't about to make him. Shiro had already shown Keith a monumental amount of trust showing them in the first place. Keith wasn't going to betray that trust.

"Um… sitting for now… I think," Shiro finally said after several moments of bafflement. Keith smiled at him and took the older man by the arm, gently leading him over to the bed. Then he urged Shiro to sit with a hand to his shoulder. Shiro flinched a little when Keith came close to touching a large scar that looked like some kind of bite wound, but sat down. Keith gently squeezed his shoulder and smiled softly at him as he removed his hand slowly. He wasn't going to ask about the scars but he wasn't going to completely ignore them either. Denying their existence was probably worse than talking about them. Keith was just going to keep going with his original plan to help the older man relax so maybe Shiro could get some much needed rest tonight.

Keith knelt down on the floor in front of Shiro and started to remove his boots. Shiro watched him silently with hooded eyes as Keith tugged off one and then the other. The socks quickly followed, tossed over his shoulder with an exaggerated wrinkle of Keith's nose which made Shiro chuckle. Shiro had really nice feet, Keith realized, all of a sudden. He also had amazing calves and thighs that Keith really had to fight from staring at too long in the tight black pants that were practically painted onto the older man. The way Shiro sat there half-naked, his smile warm, and his eyes focused on Keith through the fringe falling over his forehead into his face…

It was very easy for Keith to imagine he was kneeling in front of Shiro for a different reason. Easy to imagine him placing his hands on Shiro's thighs and rubbing along the powerful muscles as he urged the older man's legs further apart to make room for himself. It was easy to imagine situating himself between Shiro's legs, leaning in to press a kiss to the other man's chest directly over his heart, and trailing his lips lower over those amazingly toned muscles. Even though he'd never done anything like it before, it was shockingly easy to imagine rubbing his face against Shiro's upper thigh as he nuzzled against the tented fabric of the bodysuit. What would it be like to take Shiro's manhood out? Would his hands be steady or shaking like a leaf? What would it be like to taste him? To put him into his mouth and suck on his cock while Shiro watched him exactly like he was doing now?

Keith made a soft sound he really hoped didn't sound too much like a whimper as he stood up quickly, removing himself from the temptation. His face felt like it was on fire as he took off his own boots and then pulled off his gloves. He set them one Shiro's bedside table and then quickly moved to kneel behind Shiro on the bed, his knees coming to rest on either side of Shiro's hips. It was a little easier like this, Keith decided; without Shiro looking at him and possibly reading every inappropriate thought that went through his head.

As he feared, Shiro's back looked even worse than his front, but that didn't stop him from placing his hands on the older man's shoulders and squeezing gently. Damn, the knots in Shiro's muscles felt like rocks underneath his skin. No wonder he was in pain. Shiro grunted softly.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"I think I can figure it out," Keith said and Shiro snorted softly.

"I'm sure you can," Shiro said almost too soft for him to hear and the tone was almost teasing but…

Keith cleared his throat softly and slid his hands up from Shiro's shoulders to the base of his neck and began to rub slowly.

"Just tell me to stop if it's uncomfortable or… for any reason," Keith said and Shiro grunted softly. That wasn't exactly a 'no' so Keith continued. It wasn't easy. Shiro was tense all over and it seemed to take a great effort to get any of his muscles to relax. Keith worked on the base of the older man's neck for a while before moving down to his shoulders. Not surprisingly Shiro's right shoulder seemed worse off than his left. Probably due to the prosthetic. The knots also seemed worse wherever the scar tissue was thickest, not surprising probably because the wounds had probably been deep enough to cut into those muscles. Keith was careful around these areas, wary of causing further discomfort. It made him wonder just how often Shiro was in pain and never mentioned it to anyone.

Probably a lot more than Keith liked to think about.

"How are you doing?" Keith finally asked, sweeping his hands down Shiro's shoulder blades to the middle of his back. Shiro's hummed softly and Keith couldn't help but smile at the non-verbal answer. If Shiro was a cat, he'd probably be purring right now. It encouraged Keith to continue even though his hands and arms were beginning to ache. It took him a little while to notice that Shiro seemed to be leaning heavier and heavier against him. When he did he stopped what he was doing and leaned over Shiro's shoulder a bit to get a better look at his face. Shiro's eyelids were definitely drooping, and Keith couldn't help but grin at the older man's sleepy expression, but he definitely didn't want Shiro to fall asleep sitting up.

"Hey, want to lay down now?" He asked softly, giving Shiro's arm a little squeeze. Shiro was slow to respond but he eventually nodded and Keith scooted back to allow the older paladin room to lay down. Shiro laid down on his back first and Keith bit his lip at the sight he made. Sprawled and relaxed on his bed, looking up at Keith with soft warm eyes, he was a tempting image. Then Shiro slowly turned over, pillowing his head on his folded arms and closing his eyes. Keith's heart ached at the sheer trust Shiro placed in him and started to run his hands soothingly along Shiro's back again.

He quickly realized it was a bit awkward from this angle, and after a moment's consideration, Keith moved to throw one knee over and settle on the back of Shiro's thighs.

"Is this alright?" He asked and only received a muffled grunt in reply, which he took to mean 'yes'. So Keith continued to work, kneading his fingers into the muscles of Shiro's lower back. As the muscles relaxed, Shiro seemed to sink deeper into the mattress. His breathing grew shallower and Keith eased up a little, sure that Shiro was on the verge of sleep if he wasn't already.

By the time Keith was just running his fingertips lightly over Shiro's back, he knew he should probably stop. He'd done what he'd set out to do. Shiro was sleeping peacefully and Keith was about ready to fall asleep where he sat too… and that wouldn't be good. He knew he needed get up, leave, go back to his own room so he could at least jerk off before he went to sleep… It didn't matter how much he didn't want to leave...

With a heavy sigh Keith shifted, levering himself off of Shiro and off of the bed slowly, trying his best not to wake up the older paladin. He should have known that would be impossible though, since Shiro was a very light sleeper these days. Nearly as soon as Keith made it to his feet, his legs a bit numb for kneeling like that for so long, Shiro's eyes fluttered open and he lifted his head. Shiro blinked owlishly at him, one side of his hair sticking straight up, and it was one of the most adorable things Keith had ever seen. He couldn't  help himself, he leaned down to run his fingers over Shiro's hair in a vain attempt to flatten it back down.

"Hey, it’s okay. Go back to sleep," Keith whispered softly, trying not to notice how Shiro seemed to lean into his touch.

"Where are you going?" Shiro finally managed to ask, or at least that's what Keith translated Shiro's soft grunt as. He could be wrong.

"I was just… my room…" Keith stammered a bit in confusion and Shiro groaned softly, almost in annoyance. He reached out to grasp Keith's wrist and rolled onto his back, tugging Keith with him. Keith ended up almost sprawled on top of Shiro with an embarrassing squeak. Then Shiro's hand was in his hair, sealing their mouths together, and Keith's brain stopped working. The kiss was a soft lazy thing, Shiro obviously still more asleep than awake, but the way his tongue slipped past Keith's lips to taste was anything but platonic.

Keith couldn't help but whimper softly as one the older man's hand squeezed his hip and drew him even closer. There was no way Shiro wouldn't feel Keith's... interest. When Shiro's lips finally released his own, Keith was breathing hard and his heart was beating fast in his chest. They were so close that Shiro's dark eyes were the only thing he could see and they were so fond he just wanted to melt back into another kiss and never stop.

"Shiro?"

"We'll talk in the morning… if you want…" Shiro whispered, brushing his nose against Keith's, and the younger man nodded. He couldn't resist kissing Shiro softly again, and the elder man made a soft encouraging noise in his throat as their lips caressed each other over and over. It wasn't long before Shiro's kisses became a bit more uncoordinated and less responsive and Keith knew he was on the verge of falling asleep again. Keith smiled into their last kiss and finally drew away, his fingers brushing over Shiro's cheek.

"You should go back to sleep," he suggested and Shiro responded with a yawn. Keith was still chuckling softly when Shiro nuzzled in to tuck his head beneath his chin. Keith brushed his lips over Shiro's forehead tenderly as the older man relaxed against him. Keith wondered if his heart could literally burst with happiness.

Tomorrow... they would talk tomorrow...

Keith smiled as he hugged Shiro close to him, and despite his own exhaustion stayed awake for a long time just listening to the older man snore peacefully, unbothered by nightmares. Because tonight, at least right now, Shiro was fine. Maybe better than fine. Keith liked to think he was part of the reason.

Maybe this was what being in love felt like.


End file.
